Unworthy?

Disclaimer: Sailor Moon and all associated
characters are the exclusive property of Naoko
Takeuchi, Kodansha Ltd., Toei Animation, Co.,
Ltd.  The English dub is copyright 1995 DiC.

Foreword:  I'm having a bad day.

Dedication:  For You (you know who you are, love)

Unworthy?

I don't deserve this.  I don't deserve any of this.  I'm not the Moon
Princess--I can't be!  Venus is the Princess, Artemis told us she
was--
she had the mark!  My fingers frantically explored my forehead.

I've got the mark.

I have the crescent.

Looking down.  Long white skirt sparkles, Silver Crystal shines on my
wand.  Darien, blood seeping from the wound in his chest.

I collapse and pull his head into my lap.  "Don't go, Mamoru, don't
go! Please don't leave me like this!  I need you!"

He groans, he is still breathing, he is still alive.  Am I alive?  Am
I? Who am I?  I thought I was Usagi, I thought I was Sailor Moon.
No, that is not who I am.  Who am I?

"You're free," he grasps my hand, choking on his blood.  He is
drowning in the fluid that used to be his life's flow.  "You're free
and now I remember.  I am Prince Endymion."

The name hits me like a physical blow.  My head snaps back painfully,
I think I pull a muscle in my neck.  "Yes," is all I say.

I pull his body closer to me and feel him shudder.  Why does no blood
stain this wretched gown?  Why doesn't his warm red blood seep
through it to stain my skin?  I cry quietly, holding him and rocking
back and forth.  

A voice breaks into the silence.  "Hand over that crystal!"

I feel my Mamoru tremble and go still.  I no longer feel the slight
rise of his chest, no longer hear the rattle of the air in his lungs.
He is dead.

Rage takes me, swift and sure.  I am consumed with it, my hands shake 
with the need to kill something, anything--especially the thing that
has caused me this pain.  Half blinded by a haze of killing red, I
see Zoicite, arrogantly assuming my weakness and his truimph.

"Not this time," I growl, "Oh, no, not this time.  NEVER AGAIN!!!"  
I grasp the Moon Wand tightly, feeling my nails dig into my palm, the
tendons in my hand pulling tight.  I violently throw up my arms, 
wrenching my shoulders painfully.  "COSMIC MOOOON POWER!!!!"  I
shriek, not caring that the force of my cry has scraped my throat
raw.  I feel the words come from my mouth with a tangible, physical
force, feel each sylabol lacerate my briused vocal cords.

The power flows up my arms, making them shudder with the static feel
of it.  Zoicite is blasted back by the shock waves of the power I'm
calling.

I don't even have to attack.  Zoicite is finished.  A cruel, cynical
smile contorts my face into a mask.

I remember my Mamoru and sink to the floor.  "Don't go?" I whisper to 
him.

Then the world goes black.
End 2/14/99

Afterword:  I'm having a bad day.